I call bullshit. Bullshit on this “I’m so tired” existence that we are supposed to be living in. Let me explain myself. Over the last few months, blogs, articles and ads keeping popping up/bombarding my social media pages, talking about moms being tired and how normal it is. “It’s ok, sis, it’s normal to be tired”, they keep proclaiming. Bullshit!!!!! We are not supposed to be tired all the time!!! That’s not normal! That’s not what our bodies are built for. Our baseline existence shouldn’t be exhaustion. As moms, we’ve somehow been convinced that we are supposed to be tired. That we are supposed to walk around in a fog. Bullshit! Ladies! (and guys), stop buying into this idea. Are there seasons of our life when we are tired? Absolutely! Did you just push a baby out of your body? You should be tired. Are you waking up with your new born 3 times a night? You should be tired. Are you or a family member sick? You should be tired. Does our energy fluctuate occasionally? Absolutely! I think you get the point. But our “normal” existence should not make us exhausted. In fact, I truly believe that we should be filled with ENERGY as our baseline.
I’ve read all the reasons why we should be tired. We (moms) are in charge of all the schedules. We work full time, cook and clean the house all while getting the kids to school and their after school activities. We are a stay at home mom and we, again, are taking care of the house, getting the kids to school and all of their after school activities. We are on the school board, PTA, auction committee, room mom. All of these activities are constantly running through our head and we are constantly juggling how we are going to get everything done and look good doing it. Bullshit!! Why?! Why are we putting so much on ourselves? Why are we saying “yes” to everything that someone asks us to do? Why do we find it necessary to make sure that our kids are signed up for every activity that pops up, all while making sure they get their homework done? As Jen Hatmaker states “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no”. Ladies! You can say no! And, on top of that, you can even ask for help. Gasp!!! You guys, I am constantly asking my husband for help. Anyone who knows me, knows that Joe does much more around the house than I do. Am I lazy? No. But it isn’t just my responsibility to keep the house running. Every morning I ask him to watch the kids (his kids, btw. The ones that he helped create) so that I can take 1-2 hours to get my work out in. And since we’re on the topic, lets talk about taking care of ourselves, cause I think this is the root cause of our exhaustion.
After having children, I completely stopped taking care of myself. I wasn’t drinking enough water (I was living on coffee). I wasn’t sleeping enough (I stayed up late after the kids went to bed for “me time” and woke up exhausted every morning). I wasn’t eating healthy. (Even though I am gluten free, I was still eating a lot of processed food and eating like crap). And the worst part, I wasn’t doing anything that filled myself with joy. I put everything aside, to make sure that my children were getting everything they needed. But what they weren’t getting was a happy mommy. They weren’t getting a mom that was full of energy and joy. They saw a mom that rushed around in the morning, stressed about getting everything done, went to a job she wasn’t happy in, picked them up and rushed home to make sure all after school activities and homework was taken care of. It wasn’t until I was asked to evaluate myself, that things started to change. My life coach asked me to look at these different areas of my life and see how I would rate myself. Ladies! I always thought I was pretty healthy. Nope!!! I immediately started drinking a shit ton more water. I started exercising in the morning, so that I would start the day with energy, as well as start my day off on a positive note. I evaluated my diet and got rid of all processed food (yes, including tortilla chips. Oh, how I miss tortilla chips!). I started taking vitamins after talking to my doctor about which ones I should be on for my age. I FORCED myself to go to bed earlier so that I could get at least 7 hours of sleep. Do you need 7-8 hours of sleep? YES!!!!! Ok, ok. Your friend, Susan, only requires 4 hours of sleep and is crushing it in life. But guess what, you aren’t Susan. And neither am I. Get the sleep!!!! Oh, you’re sick?! Why? Why are you sick? Have you had blood work done recently? Have you really examined which diet is best for your body? Are you taking vitamins? Go. To. The. Doctor! Figure out what is going and ask for a blood panel. Ok ladies, here is the kicker!!! You NEED to do something EVERY day that brings you joy. What? You don’t know what brings you joy?! Bullshit!!! You don’t have time to do something for yourself that brings you joy? Bullshit!!! Stop the excuses. Oh, let me guess, you want to be present for your family, so that means you don’t have time for yourself. Bullshit!!! Ladies!!! This is bullshit!!! Ever since I started doing things that I love to do, I am MORE present for my family. I have more energy to focus on them and give them my full attention, instead of my exhausted attention.
Last weekend, I fell off the wagon. It was a holiday weekend. I ate all the food and drank all the alcohol. I substituted coffee for water. I stayed up late and didn’t get the sleep. I felt like crap! But, I argued with myself, I was still working out and I was still doing things I loved to do and filled me with joy. It turns out, you need to take care of your entire body in order for it to function correctly. I started drinking water again (hallelujah). I started eating healthy again (I’m trying this Keto thing out) and I started going to bed early again (no more binge watching Golden Girls till 11:30). Guess what? Two to three days later, I felt better. My energy was back and my brain was no longer in a fog. Try it out ladies!! Will you be tired when you first start working out again, yes, yes you will be. But give it 2 weeks and you’ll start seeing the difference. Please, stop believing this bull shit lie that we are supposed to be exhausted all the time. Take care of your body! You deserve to feel full of energy and joy. Go ahead, give it a shot. See what happens.
I'm an average girl who has discovered her passion for self-development after warrioring (yes, it's a word) through 6 miscarriages. I took that passion and applied it to helping others find their passions through High Performance Coaching. Boy mom to two "energetic boys" and navigating the art of being a step mom to a teenage girl, all while working daily on maintaining an authentic relationship with the best husband around. Sometimes mindful. Sometimes a runner. Always a little crazy!