Why i run- it's not what you think

Why do I run? Because I can.  Why do I get up at an ungodly hour in the morning to run? Because I can.  Why do I train for ridiculous races that push me way out of my comfort zone?  Because I can.  At least once a week, someone will ask me why I do these crazy things and the short reason I give is “because I can”.  Did I get back into running after having children to help lose some of the baby weight? Absolutely!!! (for goodness sake, I gained 60 pounds with my last son, I needed some way to get rid of that weight)  But why do I continue to run and why am I still motivated to crawl out of bed way before the sun is even up?  BECAUSE I CAN!!! 
I’ve always been a runner. (see picture above )  I was always the fastest on the soccer field, the softball field and the volleyball court.  Don’t let this fool you.  I had absolutely no talent in these sports.  Usually you need to have some sort of coordination to play these sports, and coordination is something I was not born with! But, I could absolutely race my brothers to the car and win “shotgun” (again, see picture above.  Yes, I am beating my brother).  So I joined the track team and continued sprinting.  I was definitely not the fastest on our track team (kind of hard to do that when Tiffany Roberts, you know, the women’s Olympic soccer player, is on your track team and she was lapping the boys!)  but I loved the runner’s high and I loved the friends I made while running. But after high school, my running stopped.  Between bunions and surgery for my endometriosis, I got out of the running routine.  Until I turned 30.  What happened when I turned 30? Well, I went through a nasty break up and decided to join Team and Training to train for a half marathon.  Secretly, I thought I’d meet my future husband on the running trails. That didn’t happen.  What did happen was that I made some amazing friends and ended up running four half marathons (some might say I ran two full marathons.  Ok, I’m the only one that says that). But then life hit and I couldn’t run.
You guys!!!! There were years that I couldn’t run.  There were years that I could hardly get myself out of bed because I was so sad about the miscarriages.  There were years when I was literally told that I couldn’t run because it would make me miscarry.  There were years when I was in too much pain, physically and emotionally, when I just couldn’t manage to move my body that way.  And then, after having babies, I was in that stage of solitary confinement when my babies needed me.  I was nursing and teaching full time and was just too tired to get out and run.  After my second son turned 1, my colleague and running partner, encouraged me to join her on runs after work.  Did the mommy guilt try to take over and stop me from 30 min of self-care? Yup! Sure did!! But my husband encouraged me to take the time for myself.  So my colleague and I started running again and I was in heaven.  The runner’s high is no joke you guys! And being able to relax with a friend who endlessly encouraged me, even when running up that hill might make me pee my pants, was an amazing relief from the grind of nursing and changing diapers.  If you’ve read my past blog entries, you know that shortly after getting my running groove back, I found out I was pregnant, for the 7th time.  I immediately stopped running because I knew that my body had a hard time holding on to pregnancies when I work out too much.  I ended up losing that baby at 10 weeks.  That was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  I didn’t run for almost two years after that! Yes, I would go on an occasional run, but nothing consistent and motivation was definitely lacking.  It wasn’t until I started down this personal development journey that I realized just how lucky I am and just how important exercise is.  Yes, I do consider myself lucky.  Were the six miscarriages tragic and awful? Absolutely.  But I was still alive.  I was still able to move my body. So I started running again. 
Why do I run at 4:30am?  Because if I wait until the end of the day, I will talk myself out of a run.  I’ll be too tired.  Something will come up and I’ll have to go home after work.   I’ll have to go to the grocery store to get last min dinner items (hahaha, just kidding, I don’t go to the grocery store)  But, the important thing is that I know myself well enough to know that I will not run after work.  I also know that I have much more energy if I get my run done in the morning.  Sounds counterintuitive, hu?  It is weird, but it’s true.  The first week of getting up early to run or workout, is really hard.  But after that, you actually start generating energy and have more energy through the day.  So I get up at 4:30 am.  Is it ever easy to get up at that hour? Nope!!! I curse my alarm clock every single morning.  BUT, I do it! Because I can!  I’m not assuming that everyone reading this loves to go out and run 3-4 miles a day.  But there is something out there that you love to do. Something that brings you complete joy and gives you energy.  Something that you aren’t doing.  Why? Why aren’t you doing that thing?  You’re allowed to do something for yourself, to take time for yourself.  Don’t have time? Bull shit!  If it’s something you enjoy and something that gives you energy, you can find the time.  Your body was made to do it! Go do it! Because you can!!!!